Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
