no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
