Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He kissed a someone with a penis
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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