a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
