You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize