The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
