Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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