Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
