Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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