Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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