No, drunk sperm still make babies.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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