well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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