you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
