I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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