So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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