um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
