fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
