It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize