My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
