I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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