So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
