we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
