i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
