just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
