Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
