He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize