Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sext me about skeletons
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
