He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
