She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
