I love having hate sex.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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