I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
