Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
