I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
