ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
