He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
