You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize