He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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