Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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