idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Quick, to the slutcave!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
