this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
