She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
im six kinds of drunk right now
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
