I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
