the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
