I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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