I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
