She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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