He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The air taste purple.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
