Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize