He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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