Need sex. Gaining weight.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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