turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
