singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
