i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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