It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
