Rock
Scissors
Fuck
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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