Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you win again, gameday.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
