Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize