it hurts more in the daytime
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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