mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
