ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
