It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize