I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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