You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
