I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
