There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
