I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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