im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
