thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
