just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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