Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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