It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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