I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
we're so committed to being not committed
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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