I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
How external is "for external use only"?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
