Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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